Rap Battle
by Annabeth The Unicorn
Summary: Hiccup verses Snotlout! Who will Prevail? Full of terrible White-girl rap! One-shot!


A/N: Today I walked into the band room at lunch to find that everyone from the high school band was gathered in a huge circle around a sort of long-ish black thing that was being used as a stage! It was a full-on RAP BATTLE! And… I just couldn't help it. I know the raps suck, but I did my best. I'm a white chick so… yeah. Did Vikings have rap anyway? Probably not. Oh, well, they didn't have dragons either. You are gonna laugh your freakin' ass off. It's all in Hiccup's POV

How the heck did I get myself into this one?

It all started when Snotlout challenged me to a race around the island. This was an un-winnable feat for me, missing a foot and all, so after I was done regaining my breath, I challenged him to a Dragon race. His nightmare may be fast, but Fireworm is a snail compared to Toothless! The score was one-one, so we needed a tie breaker.

That was when Tuffnut suggested a Rap Battle.

I've never tried THAT before. Probably because it just seems like another one of those things I'd be useless at. Like brute force.

I was standing on a sort of elevated bit of dirt, with Snotlout across from me, determined to prove he was more fit to be chief. Ruff, Tuff, Astrid and Fishlegs were sitting, looking up at us, them plus half the people under the age of eighteen from the village.

Fishlegs brought out a drum from behind him and started banging on it, creating the kind of beat that sounded really cool. Not like that old tribal stuff you hear at ceremonies. Snotlout went first.

_Step away cuz, Cuz' I'm on fire,_

_And don't try to stop me, or build a funeral pier,_

_You may Talk the talk, but you don't walk the walk,_

_Next time, just step down, cuz' I'm solid as a rock!_

A united "OOO" Came from the watching teens. He really got in my face, and I tried to look cool as I felt globs of spit hit my face. He stopped Rhyming and everyone looked at me expectedly. I took a deep breath and decided I might as well give it a try. I'd rather embarrass myself than give up. Vikings are stubborn people.

_Well, you might think you're really cool,_

_But maybe you need to take a dip in the pool,_

_So, stop talking you sound like a tool,_

_And get off the stage you freakin' fool!_

The crowd reacted similarly. Snotlout looked pissed now.

_Getting' stuck with you is just my luck,_

_And maybe you should just shut up,_

_For you to disappear, I'd pay a million bucks,_

_So just walk away if you've had enough!_

Well, I certainly was not going to take that from him! Now I rhymed for revenge. I barely registered the crowd's reaction to my words, right now; it was just me, Snotlout, and Fishlegs' Drum.

I see the fear in your eyes, cuz' you know you gonna lose,

I see the fear in your eyes, cuz you know I'm smooth,

If you think you can out-do me, you really got no clue,

Lets face it, you SUCK, and that's not the bad news!

On the last line, I plugged my nose as if I smelled something terrible, making my already nasally tone even more so. The crowd went mad. Snotlout looked like a volcano about to blow.

_Dude, you're voice! It's squeaky like a door-hinge,_

_You think your cooler cuz' your dragon's black and mine is orange!_

_And…_

He stopped. I smiled at him, knowing that nothing rhymes with orange. I took my shot.

_When you rap, everybody goes "OOO",_

_But, I'm not afraid to call you a NOOB!_

_I'm burning' up this stage with my rap,_

_And if you're tired of getting' beaten then go take a nap!_

He was in complete and utter shock. I was too, but I wasn't about to show it. I was on a roll.

_Yup, you're scared now, Cuz' I'm feelin' the beat,_

_So, go on, be off, and start movin' your feet,_

_Just don't make me ask you again to leave,_

_Because, this next time, won't be saying' pretty please!_

_It's getting' real warm, like a boiling' pot,_

_So just step away, cuz' it's getting' to hot,_

_Don't try to be bad-ass, cuz' you'll just get caught,_

_But don't get me wrong, I like you a lot, NOT!_

Everyone was screaming so loud, I thought my ear-drums would burst. Tuff took the stage and raised my hand above our heads yelling "I THINK WE HAVE A WINNER!"

So, maybe I don't suck as bad as I thought I did. Or… maybe they cheered because they didn't want to feel the wrath of Toothless. Either way, I won the rap battle. And it was a pretty bad-ass day.

MC Hiccup, over and out!

Wow, that was way too dorky.

Just forget I said anything.


End file.
